Hello, and thank you for being here today with me on another episode of The Soulful Success Podcast. Today what we're going to be examining is a, um, another piece that I've seen within myself and others when we are looking to live more in alignment and our one of our identities is kind of holding us back a bit and what we're going to really examine is how consistency can become a substitute for alignment while we are working towards, uh, creating a more fulfilling life and one that's more aligned with who we're meant to be.

 

So, one of the challenges that I see is that, um, you know a lot of us, you know, we're high functioning where, where we're really good at what we do and so consistency is definitely one of the pieces of it, right? Because there is going to be that output component of it.

 

The potential challenge comes is when we start to equate consistency with our value with integrity. Um, because sometimes that might start to mutate into more of an armor for ourselves, so this is completely normal. This happens for all of us, right? Because it would be very hard for us to create the lives we have created without being consistent in who we are in the upper we've created so far.

 

But the question to really think about is, are you being consistent in the right, um direction or not? That's something that can definitely be worthwhile examining here. So, one thing to remember here as well is that, um, your consistent effort, you know, that does not create your value in the world.

 

Um, how you're showing up if it's consistent or not, like that's up to you and the identity that you're creating and maybe it might be time to reflect on where we've been showing up and being consistent, where it's not been so, so fruitful for us, right? Um, because one thing to keep in mind is you know, consistently, it feels good. It feels virtuous. It feels mature. It's responsible. The issue with it is that it's externally rewarded. It's not in an internal recognition system, so when we're consistent, we're being consistent to and for other peoples who are looking for that external, uh, result that input from other people, right?

 

So along that thread consistency really says, stay the course. Whereas alignment is asking, is this still true? Okay, so when we, when we distill it, consistency is the external validation as I mentioned, and alignment is that piece that requires the internal authority. Um like we’ve been talking about in the past podcasts is where are we deriving our decision making from?

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Is it from our internal authority, or are we outsourcing it to a another authority if we can, right?
 

And so. Um, you know, maybe some ways that this may be showing up or some examples and how you might be able to relate or see this in yourself or others, you know, it could be maybe the high performer who never quits, you know? They're always going after that goal, and then once they reach the goal, they're on to the next one, and they're just kind of keep going, going, going going.

 

Um another example could be maybe the reliable partner who never rocks the boat, you know, they're always in agreement kind of people pleasing not standing up for what's true for them because they're scared to challenge the relational dynamics at the time. It could also be the disciplined entrepreneur who never pivots, you know, they've got their vision in mind and their steadfast on it, which is great.

 

However, there are definitely times where we need to be able to reassess and know if we are still on the right path. Um or even maybe the steady leader who just never questions direction, you know? If they kind of get the direction, they kind of keep going going if we don't take time to assess where we're going the direction, and we just value the consistency part of it, then that can definitely start to mask things for us here.

 

Okay, so, um? Really what I'm sharing and what we're going to start to discuss is that this this episode is really about the moment where consistency mutates into self-abandonment. Okay, so. Um I’m sure many of you, like myself, see consistency as integrity, but it can slightly mutate into more that armor, the self-abandonment, because we want to maintain what we've created, and so we're going to explore whether that's what we want to continue to hang on to or not.

 

And so, one of the challenges that we face when we're looking at the consistency angle and our identity is a lot of times when we have something shift internally, we start to think that the problem is readiness or clarity, or maybe a lack of discipline, when in reality, what it might actually be going on, is that, uh, we’re- we're actually over disciplined in the wrong direction. 

 

So and- And this is what it kind of comes back to. I'm sharing, right? We need like consistency is great when it's in alignment, so we need to be able to take a pause at times and and reflect, are we still being consistent in the way that's true for us? Okay?

 

Uh, I know many of us here we equate consistency with integrity, which is great in certain situations, but if that becomes the identity of who we are, then that's where we've stretched it too far. So, consistency is great as a behavior, and uh, and that sort of thing. But when we start to identify as a consistent person, and that becomes ingrained in our into our identity-

 

that's where it becomes much harder to change. That's where we become more patterned with it, and we want to be the person who is consistent whether or not that's true for us, and so that identity once again as I've shared before it becomes that external focused identity rather than internal alignment focused.

 

And so if we continue to go along the outer alignment, we're not going to get that internal alignment that will fill in that that piece of joy and what we really want to experience out of life.

 

Okay so I just really want to share that’s there’s nothing wrong with being consistent. Consistency is great it’s helped us build the lives we have created, it’s more a matter of looking at how it's how it's created into our identity and are we acting from that identity. And so sometimes what happens as well when we're going through this? Um, some people might feel that, um. That their consistency builds a momentum and momentum towards alignment, and they feel like when they're momentum when they've got momentum, that they're becoming aligned that may not actually be true.

 

You can build momentum, but it could be completely misaligned, so we need to make sure that we're not, um. Following a path just because it's giving us something like momentum and that sort of thing we still like to, to check if that's the right path for us. And sometimes other people you know or another challenge I might come up is that, um stopping or changing your direction might feel like failure. Sometimes maybe reassessing feels like weakness or even potentially kind of like a failure in a sense where you didn't plan properly or you quote unquote should have gone another way, but of course, you know, we make our best decisions with the information we have with the time.

 

I think that the strongest people are the ones that are willing to reassess their plans and see when and where they need to adjust the course, right? No, no path is linear. It's all random I guess is another way of looking at it, so it's a journey, right? So, we need to be able to look back and see.

 

Are we still on the right path that I make the right decision now, from where I'm at and what I know now. Am I still aligning with where I'm going? And this does not mean that quitting equals regression or changing or anything like that sometimes actually changing your direction or equating if you will isn't the catalyst that's going to propel you and put you back onto the right quote-unquote, right? Um and right path, the one that's true for you, right? So these are all things that we need to like. Keep in mind, and of course I'm coming from the narrative or the the perception, the idea that this is all coming from your internal truth.

 

You know, we're not quitting because it's hard or things like that. It's like, it's, it's just not the right path for us, and learning to distill that information is going to be very, very important.

 

Um so you know sometimes, somethings like you might hear yourself saying or others saying, hey I just need to stay committed. Or I can't give up now. Or I've already come this far. Why would I? Why would I change, right? Or it would look too bad to change, and if you catch yourself or your mind or other saying these kind of things, you can start to see where the where the consistency has mutated into the the identity and where it's actually starting to lead to lead to more self abandonment rather than self expression and alignment. 

 

A few other ways that this might show up could be, uh, maybe trying to finish a project or something that no longer fits? Um staying in an environment out of reputation rather than what's true for you. Maintaining routines just to avoid the re-calibration or having to think or do things a little bit differently.

 

And, and the most dangerous one is really just continuing because it's expected. When we examined these, right? We're looking, and we see that these are these are if we distill it down these are all reactions from external authorities, right where we're not being true ourselves, and that's kind of what, what I'm trying to share through this, is that the consistency aspect is great to build what we need to build, but we need to make sure that it doesn't become a value piece for us.

 

It's how we derive value in ourselves or others. Um or that it really means that that's a key thing to our integrity. Because if we're not aligned, it's just not going to create what we're looking to create out of it.

 

And so with this, you know, I want to share, like - it's okay to question it's okay to reassess. It's okay to to look at your path, you know, there's a lot of, I guess, motivational or inspirational to other people, you know, things going on in the in the personal growth industry that glorifies not quitting that kind of thing, right?

 

Like, keep going, keep going, keep going. Which I definitely agree if it's aligned, but that's where we need to make sure that we have the the stop points to make sure that what we are creating is do what's true for us. We might start something this year, build it for one or two years, and then realize that it's that we've just outgrown it.

 

And if we continue along that path, we may be under serving ourselves. And so, it's, it's really about having the the courage the willingness the ability. Um, the desire, the strength, the fortitude to look and see if it's right for you and to have the courage and, and um. And the decision making to decide if you're going to continue along that if it is or not for you, you know?

 

I, I like to bring awareness. I'm not telling you what you need to do, but you can make your own decisions as you develop your own awareness through it.

 

Another way that I'm going to encourage you to look at this and to re-frame what's going on. Is that consistency becomes a substitute for alignment when you're protecting an identity that matters more than honoring your truth? Not so subtle shift here, right? So? You consistently can can feel sacred become sacred when alignment feels destabilizing.

 

Right? When we're used to being consistent, uh, we've got our routines. We've got our patterns. We've got our behaviors. And then, when we start to learn and start to try to be lacking in alignment, it it challenges the status quo. It makes us rock a little bit. And that’s okay. That's completely fine.

 

That's what it's meant to do so. It's it's, I'm going to keep in the back your mind as you're going through and and working towards acting in alignment is that that consistency piece is likely going to feel a bit threatened. And that's okay, that's not going to necessarily threaten the identity of what you're creating.

 

But what it's really doing is is threatening the the identity that you've created, and if that identity is still in alignment with who you are becoming.

 

And so the nuance as I was mentioning, it's fairly subtle, right? Like, it's the there's the consistency in our behavior, which is great, but when it becomes fused into our identity, then it can definitely lead to more Miss, uh. Self sabotage because we're trying to maintain an identity that we've created. That's not in alignment with who we are becoming, and so when we find ourselves in situations it can feel threatening

 

You can feel many different things, right? You might have to reassess what change might mean in your in your social networks and the people that you are close with. Pausing or slowing down for a lot of people that have been building momentum can feel that regression. But one thing I always love to talk about is like the slingshot, right?

 

Sometimes you need to take a few steps back to catapult yourself forward, and if that's what the, what this can do for you then, of course, it's definitely worthwhile to identify how your consistency is showing up if it's showing up as true Integrity in who you want to be, or if you're really leading into more like self-abandonment, self-sabotage, that sort of thing because you're not you're not making the decision that are true for you and where you want to be going.

 

And some other things that happen with this right, is that effort will replace truth. So, that's, uh, That's a piece that we really need to be uh attuned to because we don't, we don't need to effort our way through things when we are aligned properly with with who we are our decision-making process effort is, is not the thing that leads to your results, right? Because you're acting in alignment, and it's just all natural for you.

 

And sometimes, you know, when the discipline replaces discernment, it can often show up sometimes too internally, as I'm staying committed. Meaning, I'm afraid to reassess, so we need to be mindful of really what we're saying to ourselves. What are the thoughts going on our mind, and what is? What's the actual deeper layer right?

 

Are we actually afraid to act in alignment with who we are and who we are becoming because that might destabilize some structures in your life. And so, as we look at it at the deeper layer, right? Our identity becomes fused with consistency, and so it's even harder to change, when that is the identity that's where the self-sabotage comes in because you are acting out of being consistent and feeling that that gives you value and integrity rather than acting with you with what's true for you, which is what actually gives you more that integrity and value as you as you expand. 

 

And so oftentimes as well, um, they consistently is, it's predictable, and so it becomes safe for us, and so the safety is maybe something that we gravitate to rather than the uncertainty, and so that safety starts to become a belonging. And then that belonging resists the disruption, so there's there's a cycle too.

 

There's a pattern, and as we continue to drive down that highway if you will, it strengthens that highway, so we need to be willing just to shake that up. But also, as I've shared in the past, it's really the first part, just being aware of it, catching yourself being aware and questioning really what's going on.

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What is going on underneath the hood? And I want to reassure you here that, by doing so, this is not lazy. This is not weakness. It's not lack of courage. What it is it's identity protection and understanding. What is your identity? Which identity are you living with, and are you living in alignment with your true self and and and being able to choose if that's the identity you want to continue to live with or not.

 

So, just want to re-emphasize one more time it's not that once we start to learn more about ourselves and we want to make changes that it's anything that has to do necessarily with readiness or clarity or discipline. It's really more a matter of of understanding the consistent patterns we've established.

 

Whether they have become a substitute for alignment when your identity matters more than honoring the truth.

This is a self-preservation- act, that's all right. So that's why we're bringing this up today. 

 

Now to move forward. Once, we once we understand the awareness piece. The alignment requires the willingness to question what you've once made valuable. So? It just. It just requires us to to assess and to question what we've been doing.

 

How are we deriving value, integrity, identity, and how they potentially become fused? So I, for the record, I'm definitely not saying we need to abandon responsibility, reject discipline, or start to become inconsistent. It's about understanding why we're being consistent. In what direction is it bringing us and what is it doing, either for or against us?

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Okay, so it's completely fine to reassess without shame. This is part of the identity evolution process. This is part of how we grow right, because when we change, upgrade and mutate our identity, however, you want to label it. We do have to shut our own skin, our old skin to grow into that new version of ourselves, and in order to do that, we need to understand what patterns, what structure we've been living with that are, keeping us buying us to that old identity because that old identity it's been.

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It's been developed, and it's it can be hard to change. The longer we let it go, the longer it develops the harder it can be to change, whether or not we we want to? Um. But once we have the the discernment of what's going on and whether we're living in alignment, then we can start to make the choice of whether we're going to make the change.

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And it's, and this is just how identity the identity process works. You know, I'm trying to, I'm simplifying it right now, of course.

 

So, as we're wrapping up here. Um. You know, a few reflections to kind of consider as you're thinking about how this may apply to you? Um. Or maybe if you might see it in others? Sometimes, that's a great way of learning as well, too, is seeing how others are doing things.

 

But, you know, maybe some things to think about are, where are you finishing something that you've outgrown? Where does commitment feel heavier than honest? And what would shift, if reassessing, didn't mean failing? Just a few things for us to ponder here. And I just want to remind you here.

 

Consistency in itself is powerful. It has helped, I'm sure you, myself create what we have created in our life. However, we need to be mindful of when that consistency becomes our identity and then leads itself abandonment because it is a slippery slope, but it's- there's a fine line to it, so I'm going to encourage you to bring more awareness to think about this in your daily actions and reactions, and how you're going through your day.

 

So, I just want you. I just want to remind you here that there's nothing we need to do to act on right now. If this resonated with you, great, sit with it, stay with it, and give it some time. You don't need to change anything today, we're generating awareness and and cultivating that space for you to to decide what to do next.

 

So, just notice where commitment feels heavier than alignment? Thanks for being here with me today. I hope you enjoyed the rest of your day.